Let's be honest...

This past week I realized I wasn't being very honest with myself in two aspects of my life. My diet and the amount of time I was wasting. Before I get into that I want to say, I don't do guilt. Not anymore. A few years ago I had a terrible time with "mom guilt" and "body shaming." I now have learned to acknowledge that I have areas in my life where I can/need to improve, I take a beat, and then I get to work. I feel like guilting yourself is a waste of time. For a year I wasted time making myself feel like I was ugly, fat, and a bad mother. I was on an antidepressant and miserable. I was way too hard on myself. I turned to the Lord, read conference talks, and opened up to my husband about my feelings. I am at such a great place in my life now. I'm realistic and honest. I know I'm not perfect and that there will always be things to improve. Isn't that awesome though? I love working toward goals and improving myself... and since I'm not perfect I can always be doing this.

Let's talk about wasting time... one way in specific. I am a busy mom. I make meals, clean up messes, wipe faces and booties, play Barbies and pirates, build forts, teach ABC's, say lots of prayers... the list goes on. I love it but I am worn out most of the time. This past Sunday I started evaluating my/our daily life and I realized T.V. played a huge part in it. When the kids wake up too early, when I'm cooking dinner, when the kids won't stop fighting... the T.V. is on. I can't put it all on the kids... I LOVE my morning shows and when Troy gets home we just chill with our shows on. What I realized on Sunday (that's my day of reflection) was that using the T.V. as a babysitter for my children and a way to unwind for myself was not working. So this week I turned it off. My goal was to only have the T.V. on Saturdays. We did fairly well... evenings when Troy worked late was the hardest. Before I went to bed at night I tried to put out an activity for the kids to do as soon as they woke up. A coloring page, a little craft, play dough... nothing exciting or over the top. We had story time during/after breakfast. There was MUCH less fighting, the kids played so well together, and I wasn't near as worn out. Let me explain that last one... when I would start a show I would want to finish... now I didn't just sit there doing nothing. I returned emails, did stuff for my calling, folded clothes... but I came to find out that sitting there made me more tired. I still have done all of the same things but I listen to music or talk with my kids. Just like everything else in life, T.V. is fine within reason. I really enjoyed the differences I've seen/felt this past week with limiting T.V. time. We'll definitely be keeping this going. It was so eye opening and surprisingly freeing being honest about my overuse of the T.V. I've been able to see how miss managed my time was and how well my children actually get along without this interference. The spirit is so much stronger in our home. With all the "extra time" I've found without the T.V. on we've added a morning scripture study, had more playtime with my kids, my house is cleaner, and I'm able to come up with/try new recipes. I was allowing the T.V. to steal my productivity. 

Okay... diet. When you are trying to be healthy or lose weight you have a plan. You're working toward this idea/goal and you know how you want to get to it. "I'm going to eat less, workout more, I'm doing paleo, and I'm becoming vegan." There are so many ways to approach this and even though I have my thoughts on what works and what is the "healthy" way to go about it, I believe it's a personal journey. That being said I feel like it shouldn't be done on a whim or just because you know someone that lost 20 lbs. in 3 days or whatever peaks your interest. I think it is a decision that should be researched and really thought out. When we became vegan there was a lot of study, thought, and prayer that went into it. I also believe that you shouldn't eat a diet you wouldn't feed your children (over processed diet drinks, bars, crazy crash diets) and vice-versa... if you wouldn't put it in your mouth don't give it to your kids (gummy snacks, goldfish, over processed "granola bars"). Whatever path of health you choose make sure it's one you can keep up for the rest of your life, one that you can feed your family. And be honest with yourself when it comes to living this path. 

This last week, I started looking at everything I was doing to be healthy and started to see that I wasn't being very honest with myself when it came to eating. I was making my healthy meals/snacks but then also snacking while making my kids plates (I serve them more whole grains than I eat), and these calories were adding up. I wasn't eating anything "bad" but the few extra bites here and there made a difference on the scale. After I saw the mistake I was making I decided to change it. I knew (this goes for any weight loss program/lifestyle) that if I would stick to it for a week... like really stay on top of what I put in my mouth I would see a difference. That's just what I did this past week and I lost 3 lbs. Now I 'm even more motivated to keep an eye on what I'm eating. 

Another thing that I am being honest with myself about is that I am not "fat." I've had several people tell me not to lose weight. I don't want to be unhealthy and lose too much but I have been smaller and I felt stronger/healthier, and that is what I'm going on. I'm not living a healthier lifestyle to be "skinny" or to look better. I don't think I look bad. I'm going off of the feel. Do I feel I'm in the best shape I can be? Do I feel strong? Our bodies are so amazing! I'm sure you've all seen/heard "workout because you love your body, not because you hate it." That goes for a healthy lifestyle as well. In the past five years my body has made 4 beautiful children. I've lost and gained weight, I've kept up with a busy life, we've moved 5 times... our bodies do amazing things so I truly believe we should be kind to ourselves in every way possible. 

So be honest with yourself in all aspects of your life. It just hurts you more to turn a blind eye. If you really want to change things (diet, weight, lifestyle, parenting) it all starts with being honest about the short comings you can improve. 

Weight loss update: Like I said, I've lost 3 lbs. I worked out 5 days this week for 30-35 minutes. I have eaten grains (homemade wheat bread and rice) at only one meal a day and lots of fruits and veggies. I had one cheat meal and one cheat treat. 

Tips for picky eaters (adults and children): Last post I told you chopping veggies really small helps you to get your family to eat more. I just wanted to show you what I meant. I try to get at least 3 types of vegetables in the meals I make. When we first became vegan I just chopped the food we ate into bite sized pieces and I couldn't get my kids to eat it. My mother-in law suggested that I try cutting everything smaller and it worked like a dream. All four of our children eat every vegetable/fruit that I serve them. It's AMAZING being able to plan a meal and not have anyone complain. It's such a blessing (and relief). I chalk it up to chopping the food smaller. 

I have a "scrap" bag I keep in my fridge. When I cut up veggies for my meals I take the "scraps" and add them to this bag. I got this idea from my mom... aren't moms the best? By the end of the week I have enough to make a soup. I take the "scraps" and add two potatoes, onion, garlic, and whatever other seasonings then boil it and blend that mixture until it's smooth. I love this for many reasons... I'm not wasting any part of the vegetable, I'm saving money, and it makes a great cream soup!

When I make meals I always serve my family more grains than I do myself. For example, this soup I made a few days ago. I added rice to theirs and I just had the vegetable soup. It's an easy way to cut down on some calories for yourself but keep you from having to make another meal for your family. Most of the dishes I serve that have some type of grain I will skip most of/all the rice, noodles, or whatever and eat the veggies over a bed of lettuce instead.

It's a choice...

This journey of health I've been on for the past four years has taught me a few things. I'm still learning but I thought I'd share some of this wisdom that (I feel) has really changed me for the better and given me a healthier view of what healthy actually is...

1. Being healthy is hard.

No... It’s a choice. Really that's all it comes down to. Do I choose to be healthy? (Whatever that means to you.) Do I choose do give myself the upper hand by fueling my body instead of just feeding it? Do I choose to work-out so that my body functions better?

"It’s hard because my children/husband/co-workers don't/won’t eat healthy." I know there are so many things that make it seem like being healthy is impossible but it really isn't. I have had every excuse run through my mind as to why this is so hard, but in the end I have realized I'm worth it. My family is worth it. So I choose to do it.

2. Being healthy is so expensive.

False. Eating junk and being unhealthy is expensive. For my family being healthy means a plant based diet. We eat TONS of fruits and veggies, whole grains, beans, nuts, and seeds. So let’s break this down....

Fruits and veggies... Because we eat so much produce I shop for what’s on sale or what's always cheap. Bananas are always top on my list because they are CHEAP and we use them in our green smoothies, then apples, spinach, mushrooms, onions, garlic, tomatoes, potatoes, lettuce, carrots, broccoli, zucchini, celery, cabbage... This is my base list. I add to it from what is on sale when I go to the store. So each shopping trip has new "extras."

Whole grains... Oatmeal (not that packet crap... steal cut oats), brown rice, whole wheat flour (I grind our flour and I've found the taste and texture is better if you mix a little AP flour with it), popcorn (that’s right... It’s considered a whole grain. Once again NO pre-packaged stuff. Do air popped), and I bake/make our bread and tortillas.

Nuts/seeds... I always have flax or chia seeds on hand for smoothies and egg substitutes for baking; we get unsalted nuts (all kinds but mainly almonds and cashews). We also eat nut butters (mainly peanut butter because it’s cheaper).

Beans... Dried beans are cheap and pretty easy to cook if you have a rice cooker (that's right) or a crockpot. Even canned beans aren't that expensive.

There are a few things we buy monthly or every other month. Some are listed above but others include soymilk (it’s just too thick for us so I half it with water... Works great), applesauce, dried dates to make "treats", sunflower seeds, pasta sauce, edamame pasta, salsa, and I'm sure there are other things but I can't think of them right off hand.

We are a family of 6 (very hungry family of six) and we eat very well for about $300 a month. Now this is subject to change depending on if it’s a birthday month or the holidays.

Tips for getting kids to get more veggies*
Chop everything VERY small. Like so small they can't tell what’s in the dish.
Do green smoothies with lots of dark leafy greens.
Do pureed soups.

3. I don't have the time...

"Working out takes too much time out of my day." "It's just easier to grab something while we're out." I'm sure in the moment it does seem faster/easier to grab fast food or heat up some freezer something or other. That being said... It’s just as easy to make a healthy choice when you are out running around. Stop at the grocery store and get cut veggies or a fruit bowl or a banana to hold you over. Get a salad. And at home... It just takes a little planning, pre-cut vegetables, lettuce, and fruit when you know you have a busy day coming. Get a big bowl of lettuce, can of beans, vegetables, sunflower seeds, and salsa for a quick lunch/dinner. Do fruit for a morning on the go.

As far as working out goes... Do 20 minutes. Start out with that. Then add on (I promise that once you get in the habit you will find a way to make more time). My mind and body crave working out. It’s something I do that is for me... It makes me a better women, wife, and mother. It makes me happy.

The "I don't have time" excuse is one that gets me every time. I make sure I have time to shop/cook healthy and workout because I don't want to make time to see the doctor or to loose days of being productive because I'm taking care of sick kids! Since becoming vegan we only go to the doctor (excluding teeth and eyes) once a year... And that's just for our well visits. We never (knock on wood) get sick. My kids have energy pouring out of them and can easily walk/jog 5 miles and be just fine (my 4 year olds). These are just some of the blessings that we've seen from "making time" for our health.

When we first became vegan I did it so that I could lose my baby weight (I lost that and then some... 100 lbs.). I would work-out because I wanted to look good. These are still important reasons for me to continue on this path but they are no longer the only reasons. I want to feel good all the time... Not weighed down and heavy because of my diet. I want to keep up with my children and not be worn out after a busy Saturday. I want everything (skin, teeth, hair, and WHOLE body) to be in tiptop shape.

I kind of lost sight of my reasons over the past year but I'm remember why this was so important, why it is important. I'm not only helping myself with a healthy lifestyle but my family as well. My husband is a busy doctor so this lifestyle helps him keep going after a long day at the hospital. This lifestyle is helping my children learn how to enjoy their childhood and avoid an unhealthy adulthood. I was the chubby kid out of breath walking the mile at school. I remember feelings of defeat and being worthless. I don't want that for my kids! (Just FYI... I now can kick "the mile" in the booty without even thinking about it!)

In conclusion being healthy makes your life better. The end.

Update: I have been working out 5-6 days a week. I've upped my weight lifting just because the 10 lb. weights I had been using have become too easy. I now squat 50 lbs. and lift 15 lbs. I have added more vegetables and have grains at only one meal. Trying not to eat after 7:00 pm... Although it's way hard. For some reason after the kids go to bed I feel like I haven't eaten in 3 days. I have one cheat meal or treat a week... This week was ice cream (perfect treat for a blizzard, right?). I have only lost two pounds but I'm not discouraged. I'm doing this for more than just the weight. I want to be strong. I want to be able to carry my children, 40 lb. (older twins) and 35 lb. (younger twins), and it is easy. I want to keep up with my busy life.

I hope your healthy path is becoming a habit and that you are feeling the benefits!

Before...

If you would have told me (at any point in my life) that I would post before pictures I would have laughed... a lot. Posting after pictures is a totally different story. After pictures mean you've succeeded, you did it! Before just means you can still fail. Flash forward to now and it really doesn't bother me all that much. Moving to NYC has really changed me in so many ways (I know I've said this before). I love that here you can be whomever you want and not a soul cares! Say what you want, dress how you want, sing on the subway... not even a flinch from most people. I think it's safe to say I have become comfortable in my own skin and with who I am. That being said, I still want to be the best I can be... I'm just not going to beat myself up for short comings or slip ups. I'm growing and learning everyday about every aspect of life (and myself). So... I have a goal, I'm working towards it, BUT I will do what feels best for my body. If that means I lose 10 lbs. and I love how I feel/look then I'll stop. I feel like weight and fitness is very personal, I think you need to be healthy but do what that means for your body.

OK... so like I said before my goal is to lose 15-20 lbs. by mid-March. I'm eating a plant based diet and working out 30 minutes a day 6 days a week.
                                                                               145

                                               So here they are. My mummy tummy and all.

For my workouts I use the Popsugar Fitness channel on YouTube. I mostly do the 30 minute workouts and use 10 lb. hand weights. If I have the extra time or feel like doing more, I'll do a 40 minute workout or do another 30 minute one OR add a 15 minute one.

My diet is (of course) vegan. I have a green smoothie for breakfast EVERY MORNING! So... tons of greens (spinach or kale... I've even added just plain lettuce), fruit, ice, flax or chia seeds, a little soy milk, and lots of water (if I want to make it seem more like a treat I add a scoop of nut butter... but not much).  Lunch and dinner are just packed full of veggies... sometimes if I'm on the go I just have another smoothie especially in the summer. During the winter I make a lot of soup. I always mix rice in the kids and Troy's but I just will have the soup.

This is from lunch the other day. Homemade wheat tortillas (recipe to follow) and lettuce topped with a veggie mix. The mix has Brussel sprouts, carrots, lentils, mushrooms, broccoli, black bean and corn salsa cooked in a little bit of water (I try not to cook with oil). It was amazing!

Another dinner I made the other day was kale and cauliflower soup. It had kale, cauliflower, mushrooms, onion, garlic, and red potatoes. I boil it down until it's all fork soft and then blend it up. So smooth and creamy! 

So hopefully this is helpful and y'all are killing it so far this year! Please feel free to comment (even if you don't know me personally). I have been told a few times that friends of friends have started following me and don't feel comfortable commenting but you are welcome to ask questions or comment! Also if you want some of my recipes I post most of them on Facebook on the vegan lifestyle page, just request to be added. 

New Year, new you

It's that time again... throw out the junk food, join the gym, clean out the closets, clean out the house. I love how the New Year inspires change. I for one am ready to mix things up a bit.

As most of you know, after having my second set of twins (and becoming vegan) I lost 100 lbs. (that put me at 125). I ate as "clean" and healthy as I possibly could. I worked out for two hours six days a week and obsessed over weight. I loved how small I had become and had no intention of gaining any weight back. Of course life happens and in all the excitement leading up to our move to NYC I gained 10 lbs. I know... not a crazy amount but it was earth shattering for me. Once we moved here I got busy and accepted the "extra padding". Well now we have been here for about 18 months and I gained 10 lbs. more (145). So one of my new goals for the year is to lose 15-20 lbs. I haven't decided the deadline for this goal (thinking mid-March) but I know I want to do things a little differently this go round.

Now that my kids are older I don't have two nap times I can use as workout time. I am now lucky if I get 30 minutes. So... I make the most of that 30 minute window. Knowing that I have such a short amount of time it makes it easier to push myself harder and when I'm just not "feeling it" I tell myself that it's ONLY 30 minutes! I have come to realize this is MY time. Troy works crazy hours and getting away from home to workout can be a challenge. My kids are very active and are only willing to let the TV babysit them for so long... so 30 minutes... in my room is all I get.

My diet will stay vegan BUT I will not let myself feel guilty if I indulge. I won't make myself workout harder or skip meals to make up for the calorie gain. I eat a plant based diet because it makes me feel good (inside and out). My body works wonderfully (if you get my drift). My skin is clearer. All that being said I am allowed to "have fun" every now and then.

I plan to keep you all updated as I work toward and reach this goal! I'll let you know what meals I eat/prepare and what changes I make for myself that I don't for my family (pasta substitutes, lettuce wraps instead of tortillas...). This year is going to be an amazing year... I can feel it! Our family has some exciting things happening this next year and I look forward to sharing them all!

Happy New Year... from our family to yours!