Just takes time...

I’ve been a momma for almost 5 years now. I know it doesn’t seem long but I have learned a few things along the way. The first of which is that being a mom is hard! Long days… late nights. It truly is a 24/7 job. With that said, we all know it is one of the most important jobs in the world and one of the most rewarding. For me being a mom means unconditional love and forgiveness, enjoying the simple things, and finding joy in everything. Kids are amazing and smart! They pick up on everything… good and bad. It’s truly a blessing!

I have 4 children… 4 and under (two sets of twins). They are with me all day long… everyday! I love it but I can get burnt out (especially in the winter). During the summer we basically live at the playgrounds in Central Park. But the winter…. oh the bitter cold winter… we are stuck in our 750sq foot apartment most days. During these endless winter days I have come to realize it doesn’t take much to entertain my children. Legos, books, Barbie’s, super heroes... that all keeps them pretty busy. The other day I had them sit on my bed (we try to keep them off/out of our bed so it’s a treat when we let them on it) and look at their recent library books then we ate some homemade bagels. They had a blast all cuddled up next to each other describing their books to one another and taking about how fun it is to try new foods (they’ve never had bagels). Then today I sat on the floor with them and colored for about 15 minutes. Fifteen minutes… that’s all it took. They were just as happy as could be to sit and color with me. After that they went on to play something else. Then it hit me. It doesn’t take much to make children happy. Yes it takes time to raise kids… to meet their needs but to make them happy it’s just so simple.

 I feel like as moms we can get wrapped up in making sure our children have all of the “things” they want that we miss what they really want… us. I had a bit of a wakeup call a few weeks ago when my son told me I always have my phone with me. I asked him how he felt about me “always having my phone” and he said that it bothered him. I have since tried to only look at my phone at certain times (limited times) a day. I am trying to be more in the present, to give my children my time and not so many things. I try to plan out 15-20 minute activities to do with them a few times a day and that has seemed to work well for them/us. Their need of my attention is met and I am still able to get the things on my to do list checked off. Coloring, reading, building forts, playing Legos… simple things that mean the world to a child.

On a side note, I know we all have a child that for whatever reason likes to play hardball and make the simplest of tasks a nightmare. My children take turns being “that” child. I have found that if I spend one on one time with them (even just 5 minutes) or set them up in their room with some toys/books and let them have alone time it makes a world of difference!

So when it comes to our babies let’s keep it simple.

Bagels-

1 ½ cups warm water

1 tablespoon yeast

3 tablespoons brown sugar

1 tablespoon salt

4 cups white/wheat flour

Sprinkle yeast and sugar over warm water. Let sit for 5 minutes. Stir in salt. Now add 3 cups a flour and start to knead it (I prefer to do this by hand but a mixer with a dough hook works fine). Add the last cup of flour a little at a time until the dough is no longer sticky (you might need more flour if your dough is sticking to your hands). Knead for about 10 minutes. Spray large mixing bowl and ball of dough with cooking oil (lightly). Place dough in mixing bowl, cover, and let rise for 30 minutes. After the dough has doubled in size separate into 6 balls. Then shape into bagels. Cover and let rise for another 30 minutes.

In a large pot bring about 5 inches of water to a boil. Place bagels (a few at a time) in the water and let simmer for 1 minute on each side. Place on cookie sheet and bake at 375 for 25-30 minutes. Enjoy!

I made some date paste to spread on them and topped it off with sliced pears. Delicious!

It's learned...

I love Mondays! I love being able to start fresh… and after the weekend I had (food wise) I needed a fresh start. Fridays are our “cheat day” so we had some Ben and Jerry’s (half baked) and some amazing chocolate babka bread (if you haven’t tried this before I highly recommend it). Then Saturday one of the kid’s friends had a birthday party (his mom is an amazing baker) so I had cake and poppy seed bread. Of course Sunday was the Super Bowl and we had lots of treats. Needless to say… I over did it and my body felt it this morning. I was slower and it was hard to wake up but I started the day off right with a green smoothie and a workout. Even though I ate more junk than I wanted to this weekend I’m not going to let it get me down. There will always be a “bump” in the road… birthday parties, holidays, girl’s nights. There will always be something. That’s why I am trying my best to keep on track the rest of the time. I let myself have a cheat on Friday. I don’t eat out so I usually just eat more bread with my dinner (that’s a treat for me) and Troy and I will spilt some ice cream or cake or something like that. It took a few weeks for that to seem like “enough” for me. Food is an addiction. It takes time to get used to your new “normal” but if you want it… you’ll make it work.

I hear all the time that eating healthy is so hard. That it doesn’t taste good. When we first became vegan I hated it. I remember thinking that if I had to choke down another salad I was going to die. I was determined to be healthy though so I kept going. I found new recipes and learned to like new fruits and vegetables. I LEARNED to like it. I believe all behavior is learned, good or bad. If there is a bad habit you have (and it bothers you) you change it, right? Do we eat what we eat out of habit? I think so. Habits can be changed. It takes 21 days to break a habit. If you think of bad eating as a habit that can be broken in 21 days doesn’t that make it seem more doable? That’s not even a full month! After that first month of becoming vegan I stopped thinking about it. I didn’t crave cheese or meat. It just became second nature.

I have some exciting news! I’m collaborating with someone very close to me over the next few weeks. It’s a fun little project she approached me with today and I can’t wait to start. I’ll be keeping you all updated (to some degree) as we go but the big reveal is still a few weeks out. We’re hoping to inspire and show that being healthy with little time and little money is very possible! Health and fitness isn’t limited to the wealthy and those with ample time. We can be busy moms or students or whatever and still have the resources at hand to be our best selves. So stay tuned!

Weight loss update: I didn’t lose a pound this week. At first I was discouraged but then I realized I can’t beat myself up. I am working to become my best self. I ate healthy, worked out every day … I did my part. I won’t let the scale tell me if I’m improving. I know that I am. I’m stronger than I was yesterday; I’m eating better, feeling better. I am not a number, I am not a size. I am a women working to improve myself and becoming someone I’m proud of and believe in.

Recipe-

I’ve decided to start posting more of my recipes on the blog instead of my Facebook page (Vegan Lifestyle). So I thought I’d start with a good one. We had these AMAZING brownies for the Super Bowl. You’ll want to make these ASAP!

Brownies with Cashew Caramel-

Brownies-

1 cup peanut butter

¼ cup sugar

2 teaspoons vanilla extract

1 cup unsweetened applesauce

2/3 cocoa powder

1 teaspoon baking powder

Add all ingredients into mixer and mix until smooth. Grease an 8x8 glass pan and pour mixture in. Bake at 350 for 20-25 minutes. Let cool completely. If you are in a hurry put them in the freezer for 20 minutes.

These brownies are so fudgy and rich and tasty!

Cashew Caramel-

½ cup maple syrup

½ cup cashew butter

Place ingredients in a high powder blender and blend until smooth. A food processor would work as well. Warm the sauce and drizzle over cooled brownies.

This sauce is so good. I was ready to lick the bowl (maybe I did… just a little).

Enjoy!

Let's be honest...

This past week I realized I wasn't being very honest with myself in two aspects of my life. My diet and the amount of time I was wasting. Before I get into that I want to say, I don't do guilt. Not anymore. A few years ago I had a terrible time with "mom guilt" and "body shaming." I now have learned to acknowledge that I have areas in my life where I can/need to improve, I take a beat, and then I get to work. I feel like guilting yourself is a waste of time. For a year I wasted time making myself feel like I was ugly, fat, and a bad mother. I was on an antidepressant and miserable. I was way too hard on myself. I turned to the Lord, read conference talks, and opened up to my husband about my feelings. I am at such a great place in my life now. I'm realistic and honest. I know I'm not perfect and that there will always be things to improve. Isn't that awesome though? I love working toward goals and improving myself... and since I'm not perfect I can always be doing this.

Let's talk about wasting time... one way in specific. I am a busy mom. I make meals, clean up messes, wipe faces and booties, play Barbies and pirates, build forts, teach ABC's, say lots of prayers... the list goes on. I love it but I am worn out most of the time. This past Sunday I started evaluating my/our daily life and I realized T.V. played a huge part in it. When the kids wake up too early, when I'm cooking dinner, when the kids won't stop fighting... the T.V. is on. I can't put it all on the kids... I LOVE my morning shows and when Troy gets home we just chill with our shows on. What I realized on Sunday (that's my day of reflection) was that using the T.V. as a babysitter for my children and a way to unwind for myself was not working. So this week I turned it off. My goal was to only have the T.V. on Saturdays. We did fairly well... evenings when Troy worked late was the hardest. Before I went to bed at night I tried to put out an activity for the kids to do as soon as they woke up. A coloring page, a little craft, play dough... nothing exciting or over the top. We had story time during/after breakfast. There was MUCH less fighting, the kids played so well together, and I wasn't near as worn out. Let me explain that last one... when I would start a show I would want to finish... now I didn't just sit there doing nothing. I returned emails, did stuff for my calling, folded clothes... but I came to find out that sitting there made me more tired. I still have done all of the same things but I listen to music or talk with my kids. Just like everything else in life, T.V. is fine within reason. I really enjoyed the differences I've seen/felt this past week with limiting T.V. time. We'll definitely be keeping this going. It was so eye opening and surprisingly freeing being honest about my overuse of the T.V. I've been able to see how miss managed my time was and how well my children actually get along without this interference. The spirit is so much stronger in our home. With all the "extra time" I've found without the T.V. on we've added a morning scripture study, had more playtime with my kids, my house is cleaner, and I'm able to come up with/try new recipes. I was allowing the T.V. to steal my productivity. 

Okay... diet. When you are trying to be healthy or lose weight you have a plan. You're working toward this idea/goal and you know how you want to get to it. "I'm going to eat less, workout more, I'm doing paleo, and I'm becoming vegan." There are so many ways to approach this and even though I have my thoughts on what works and what is the "healthy" way to go about it, I believe it's a personal journey. That being said I feel like it shouldn't be done on a whim or just because you know someone that lost 20 lbs. in 3 days or whatever peaks your interest. I think it is a decision that should be researched and really thought out. When we became vegan there was a lot of study, thought, and prayer that went into it. I also believe that you shouldn't eat a diet you wouldn't feed your children (over processed diet drinks, bars, crazy crash diets) and vice-versa... if you wouldn't put it in your mouth don't give it to your kids (gummy snacks, goldfish, over processed "granola bars"). Whatever path of health you choose make sure it's one you can keep up for the rest of your life, one that you can feed your family. And be honest with yourself when it comes to living this path. 

This last week, I started looking at everything I was doing to be healthy and started to see that I wasn't being very honest with myself when it came to eating. I was making my healthy meals/snacks but then also snacking while making my kids plates (I serve them more whole grains than I eat), and these calories were adding up. I wasn't eating anything "bad" but the few extra bites here and there made a difference on the scale. After I saw the mistake I was making I decided to change it. I knew (this goes for any weight loss program/lifestyle) that if I would stick to it for a week... like really stay on top of what I put in my mouth I would see a difference. That's just what I did this past week and I lost 3 lbs. Now I 'm even more motivated to keep an eye on what I'm eating. 

Another thing that I am being honest with myself about is that I am not "fat." I've had several people tell me not to lose weight. I don't want to be unhealthy and lose too much but I have been smaller and I felt stronger/healthier, and that is what I'm going on. I'm not living a healthier lifestyle to be "skinny" or to look better. I don't think I look bad. I'm going off of the feel. Do I feel I'm in the best shape I can be? Do I feel strong? Our bodies are so amazing! I'm sure you've all seen/heard "workout because you love your body, not because you hate it." That goes for a healthy lifestyle as well. In the past five years my body has made 4 beautiful children. I've lost and gained weight, I've kept up with a busy life, we've moved 5 times... our bodies do amazing things so I truly believe we should be kind to ourselves in every way possible. 

So be honest with yourself in all aspects of your life. It just hurts you more to turn a blind eye. If you really want to change things (diet, weight, lifestyle, parenting) it all starts with being honest about the short comings you can improve. 

Weight loss update: Like I said, I've lost 3 lbs. I worked out 5 days this week for 30-35 minutes. I have eaten grains (homemade wheat bread and rice) at only one meal a day and lots of fruits and veggies. I had one cheat meal and one cheat treat. 

Tips for picky eaters (adults and children): Last post I told you chopping veggies really small helps you to get your family to eat more. I just wanted to show you what I meant. I try to get at least 3 types of vegetables in the meals I make. When we first became vegan I just chopped the food we ate into bite sized pieces and I couldn't get my kids to eat it. My mother-in law suggested that I try cutting everything smaller and it worked like a dream. All four of our children eat every vegetable/fruit that I serve them. It's AMAZING being able to plan a meal and not have anyone complain. It's such a blessing (and relief). I chalk it up to chopping the food smaller. 

I have a "scrap" bag I keep in my fridge. When I cut up veggies for my meals I take the "scraps" and add them to this bag. I got this idea from my mom... aren't moms the best? By the end of the week I have enough to make a soup. I take the "scraps" and add two potatoes, onion, garlic, and whatever other seasonings then boil it and blend that mixture until it's smooth. I love this for many reasons... I'm not wasting any part of the vegetable, I'm saving money, and it makes a great cream soup!

When I make meals I always serve my family more grains than I do myself. For example, this soup I made a few days ago. I added rice to theirs and I just had the vegetable soup. It's an easy way to cut down on some calories for yourself but keep you from having to make another meal for your family. Most of the dishes I serve that have some type of grain I will skip most of/all the rice, noodles, or whatever and eat the veggies over a bed of lettuce instead.

It's a choice...

This journey of health I've been on for the past four years has taught me a few things. I'm still learning but I thought I'd share some of this wisdom that (I feel) has really changed me for the better and given me a healthier view of what healthy actually is...

1. Being healthy is hard.

No... It’s a choice. Really that's all it comes down to. Do I choose to be healthy? (Whatever that means to you.) Do I choose do give myself the upper hand by fueling my body instead of just feeding it? Do I choose to work-out so that my body functions better?

"It’s hard because my children/husband/co-workers don't/won’t eat healthy." I know there are so many things that make it seem like being healthy is impossible but it really isn't. I have had every excuse run through my mind as to why this is so hard, but in the end I have realized I'm worth it. My family is worth it. So I choose to do it.

2. Being healthy is so expensive.

False. Eating junk and being unhealthy is expensive. For my family being healthy means a plant based diet. We eat TONS of fruits and veggies, whole grains, beans, nuts, and seeds. So let’s break this down....

Fruits and veggies... Because we eat so much produce I shop for what’s on sale or what's always cheap. Bananas are always top on my list because they are CHEAP and we use them in our green smoothies, then apples, spinach, mushrooms, onions, garlic, tomatoes, potatoes, lettuce, carrots, broccoli, zucchini, celery, cabbage... This is my base list. I add to it from what is on sale when I go to the store. So each shopping trip has new "extras."

Whole grains... Oatmeal (not that packet crap... steal cut oats), brown rice, whole wheat flour (I grind our flour and I've found the taste and texture is better if you mix a little AP flour with it), popcorn (that’s right... It’s considered a whole grain. Once again NO pre-packaged stuff. Do air popped), and I bake/make our bread and tortillas.

Nuts/seeds... I always have flax or chia seeds on hand for smoothies and egg substitutes for baking; we get unsalted nuts (all kinds but mainly almonds and cashews). We also eat nut butters (mainly peanut butter because it’s cheaper).

Beans... Dried beans are cheap and pretty easy to cook if you have a rice cooker (that's right) or a crockpot. Even canned beans aren't that expensive.

There are a few things we buy monthly or every other month. Some are listed above but others include soymilk (it’s just too thick for us so I half it with water... Works great), applesauce, dried dates to make "treats", sunflower seeds, pasta sauce, edamame pasta, salsa, and I'm sure there are other things but I can't think of them right off hand.

We are a family of 6 (very hungry family of six) and we eat very well for about $300 a month. Now this is subject to change depending on if it’s a birthday month or the holidays.

Tips for getting kids to get more veggies*
Chop everything VERY small. Like so small they can't tell what’s in the dish.
Do green smoothies with lots of dark leafy greens.
Do pureed soups.

3. I don't have the time...

"Working out takes too much time out of my day." "It's just easier to grab something while we're out." I'm sure in the moment it does seem faster/easier to grab fast food or heat up some freezer something or other. That being said... It’s just as easy to make a healthy choice when you are out running around. Stop at the grocery store and get cut veggies or a fruit bowl or a banana to hold you over. Get a salad. And at home... It just takes a little planning, pre-cut vegetables, lettuce, and fruit when you know you have a busy day coming. Get a big bowl of lettuce, can of beans, vegetables, sunflower seeds, and salsa for a quick lunch/dinner. Do fruit for a morning on the go.

As far as working out goes... Do 20 minutes. Start out with that. Then add on (I promise that once you get in the habit you will find a way to make more time). My mind and body crave working out. It’s something I do that is for me... It makes me a better women, wife, and mother. It makes me happy.

The "I don't have time" excuse is one that gets me every time. I make sure I have time to shop/cook healthy and workout because I don't want to make time to see the doctor or to loose days of being productive because I'm taking care of sick kids! Since becoming vegan we only go to the doctor (excluding teeth and eyes) once a year... And that's just for our well visits. We never (knock on wood) get sick. My kids have energy pouring out of them and can easily walk/jog 5 miles and be just fine (my 4 year olds). These are just some of the blessings that we've seen from "making time" for our health.

When we first became vegan I did it so that I could lose my baby weight (I lost that and then some... 100 lbs.). I would work-out because I wanted to look good. These are still important reasons for me to continue on this path but they are no longer the only reasons. I want to feel good all the time... Not weighed down and heavy because of my diet. I want to keep up with my children and not be worn out after a busy Saturday. I want everything (skin, teeth, hair, and WHOLE body) to be in tiptop shape.

I kind of lost sight of my reasons over the past year but I'm remember why this was so important, why it is important. I'm not only helping myself with a healthy lifestyle but my family as well. My husband is a busy doctor so this lifestyle helps him keep going after a long day at the hospital. This lifestyle is helping my children learn how to enjoy their childhood and avoid an unhealthy adulthood. I was the chubby kid out of breath walking the mile at school. I remember feelings of defeat and being worthless. I don't want that for my kids! (Just FYI... I now can kick "the mile" in the booty without even thinking about it!)

In conclusion being healthy makes your life better. The end.

Update: I have been working out 5-6 days a week. I've upped my weight lifting just because the 10 lb. weights I had been using have become too easy. I now squat 50 lbs. and lift 15 lbs. I have added more vegetables and have grains at only one meal. Trying not to eat after 7:00 pm... Although it's way hard. For some reason after the kids go to bed I feel like I haven't eaten in 3 days. I have one cheat meal or treat a week... This week was ice cream (perfect treat for a blizzard, right?). I have only lost two pounds but I'm not discouraged. I'm doing this for more than just the weight. I want to be strong. I want to be able to carry my children, 40 lb. (older twins) and 35 lb. (younger twins), and it is easy. I want to keep up with my busy life.

I hope your healthy path is becoming a habit and that you are feeling the benefits!

Before...

If you would have told me (at any point in my life) that I would post before pictures I would have laughed... a lot. Posting after pictures is a totally different story. After pictures mean you've succeeded, you did it! Before just means you can still fail. Flash forward to now and it really doesn't bother me all that much. Moving to NYC has really changed me in so many ways (I know I've said this before). I love that here you can be whomever you want and not a soul cares! Say what you want, dress how you want, sing on the subway... not even a flinch from most people. I think it's safe to say I have become comfortable in my own skin and with who I am. That being said, I still want to be the best I can be... I'm just not going to beat myself up for short comings or slip ups. I'm growing and learning everyday about every aspect of life (and myself). So... I have a goal, I'm working towards it, BUT I will do what feels best for my body. If that means I lose 10 lbs. and I love how I feel/look then I'll stop. I feel like weight and fitness is very personal, I think you need to be healthy but do what that means for your body.

OK... so like I said before my goal is to lose 15-20 lbs. by mid-March. I'm eating a plant based diet and working out 30 minutes a day 6 days a week.
                                                                               145

                                               So here they are. My mummy tummy and all.

For my workouts I use the Popsugar Fitness channel on YouTube. I mostly do the 30 minute workouts and use 10 lb. hand weights. If I have the extra time or feel like doing more, I'll do a 40 minute workout or do another 30 minute one OR add a 15 minute one.

My diet is (of course) vegan. I have a green smoothie for breakfast EVERY MORNING! So... tons of greens (spinach or kale... I've even added just plain lettuce), fruit, ice, flax or chia seeds, a little soy milk, and lots of water (if I want to make it seem more like a treat I add a scoop of nut butter... but not much).  Lunch and dinner are just packed full of veggies... sometimes if I'm on the go I just have another smoothie especially in the summer. During the winter I make a lot of soup. I always mix rice in the kids and Troy's but I just will have the soup.

This is from lunch the other day. Homemade wheat tortillas (recipe to follow) and lettuce topped with a veggie mix. The mix has Brussel sprouts, carrots, lentils, mushrooms, broccoli, black bean and corn salsa cooked in a little bit of water (I try not to cook with oil). It was amazing!

Another dinner I made the other day was kale and cauliflower soup. It had kale, cauliflower, mushrooms, onion, garlic, and red potatoes. I boil it down until it's all fork soft and then blend it up. So smooth and creamy! 

So hopefully this is helpful and y'all are killing it so far this year! Please feel free to comment (even if you don't know me personally). I have been told a few times that friends of friends have started following me and don't feel comfortable commenting but you are welcome to ask questions or comment! Also if you want some of my recipes I post most of them on Facebook on the vegan lifestyle page, just request to be added. 

New Year, new you

It's that time again... throw out the junk food, join the gym, clean out the closets, clean out the house. I love how the New Year inspires change. I for one am ready to mix things up a bit.

As most of you know, after having my second set of twins (and becoming vegan) I lost 100 lbs. (that put me at 125). I ate as "clean" and healthy as I possibly could. I worked out for two hours six days a week and obsessed over weight. I loved how small I had become and had no intention of gaining any weight back. Of course life happens and in all the excitement leading up to our move to NYC I gained 10 lbs. I know... not a crazy amount but it was earth shattering for me. Once we moved here I got busy and accepted the "extra padding". Well now we have been here for about 18 months and I gained 10 lbs. more (145). So one of my new goals for the year is to lose 15-20 lbs. I haven't decided the deadline for this goal (thinking mid-March) but I know I want to do things a little differently this go round.

Now that my kids are older I don't have two nap times I can use as workout time. I am now lucky if I get 30 minutes. So... I make the most of that 30 minute window. Knowing that I have such a short amount of time it makes it easier to push myself harder and when I'm just not "feeling it" I tell myself that it's ONLY 30 minutes! I have come to realize this is MY time. Troy works crazy hours and getting away from home to workout can be a challenge. My kids are very active and are only willing to let the TV babysit them for so long... so 30 minutes... in my room is all I get.

My diet will stay vegan BUT I will not let myself feel guilty if I indulge. I won't make myself workout harder or skip meals to make up for the calorie gain. I eat a plant based diet because it makes me feel good (inside and out). My body works wonderfully (if you get my drift). My skin is clearer. All that being said I am allowed to "have fun" every now and then.

I plan to keep you all updated as I work toward and reach this goal! I'll let you know what meals I eat/prepare and what changes I make for myself that I don't for my family (pasta substitutes, lettuce wraps instead of tortillas...). This year is going to be an amazing year... I can feel it! Our family has some exciting things happening this next year and I look forward to sharing them all!

Happy New Year... from our family to yours!

Kindness...

This is something that has been on my mind A LOT as of late. I don't know if it's because of all the hate that has been openly posted all over facebook or the fact that my big kids will be going to school in a little over a year but none the less... It's been on my mind.

I distinctly remember learning about the golden rule in elementary school. It was on the "word of the week" board in the lunchroom. When I first saw it I thought... "That is such a great idea" (at the time I think I was being picked on and wanted nothing more that to just "fit in")! Now that I'm a grown women with a family of my own I love this concept even more. When it comes to my family I'm a "beast" (don't mess with mine and I won't mess with yours). I had been taking the defensive approach. I didn't trust anyone... I thought everyone was out to get us... everyone was mean. I know it was a bit over the top but living in a big, crazy city I felt like I had no choice. There are crazies everywhere you go and it's so busy. BUT... I've realized something. By living life that way I wasn't happy (shocker). I wasn't nice... to anyone... not even myself. I felt this strong hate growing inside of me and it was scary. Then it hit me. I was going about this all wrong. Why was I fighting "mean and ugly with mean and ugly"? Wouldn't life be so much easier if I was kind? Wouldn't it be more likely that people would show kindness if they were shown kindness? So needless to say, I've changed my approach. I smile more. I say things like "hi" and "thank you". I try to encourage my children to involve others in their play... And guess what?? I'm happier. I'm nicer. My children like me more. I like "me" more.

After my change of heart, I realized I wanted to start teaching my children about being kind. I've been trying my best to prepare the big kids for school in every way I could think of. Letters, numbers, shapes, colors... kindness wasn't on the list (but I think it should be). I want my children to know everyone deserves love and respect. EVERYONE. That includes themselves. I want our home to be full of love, kindness, respect, and understanding. I want our home to be a "safe place" where my children feel free to be who they are and express to us their concerns. I want them to know that even if they feel differently (about anything) than I do, then they will still be shown love and kindness.

I feel being kind is one of the most important things in life! When I think of Christ and his teachings I of course think of love but even more than love I think... kindness (you can love someone and not be kind). Christ was perfect... spotless. He had every right to be judgmental but he wasn't. He was kind. He was forgiving. He was compassionate. He did condemn sin but He still loved the sinner. A perfect example. I want my children to have "love for one another" and to live the golden rule. Not just towards others but towards themselves as well. I know that if I want them to be this way I must teach by example. So I'm going to keep smiling, keep thinking outside of myself, and keep striving to be kind. I will think kind things about myself. I will praise and not tear down. I will be a follower of Christ.

defeat...

It's a word I've been thinking about a lot. It sounds like a dirty word, one you only say when no one is around... in hushed tones. Well... living in NYC has changed me... in more ways then one. I have shied away from blogging because I didn't know what to write about. How NYC has brought me some of my hardest moments? How I've cried more in the past year than I think I have in my whole life? How I have never felt so alone? How I put back on some of the weight I worked so hard to get off? defeat. defeat. defeat. I've felt like I needed to keep up appearances. I had to show the world that I can do it all. I can raise four small children in a big city, alone (most of the time). That I can kick pinterest butt and keep a perfect house running in tip-top shape. Well, hear I am admitting defeat.... admitting that I can't do it all and I'm not embarrassed. I truly am changed. With all of the hardships that have come from living in New York I can honestly say this has also been the best time of my life. Living here has changed our family life. We really rely on one another. We crave time as a family. We're all each others best friends (the kids love to say that we are all besties). I love how strong our family bond has become... the "I love you's" are in abundance at our house. With all the distractions of our life before NY (play dates and busy work around town) I missed so much. It really is the little things that make life worth living. I have learned so much about my husband, children, and even myself. I see that "things" have NOTHING to do with happiness. Since living in the city we have tried to downsize as much as we can (750 sq. ft gets cramped really quickly with six people). I'm learning from the true"New Yorkers" that really all you need your apartment for is sleep and eating. I've learned that being myself and feeling the way I feel is OK. So here I am admitting defeat and it's OK! It's OK that my sink has dirty dishes in it for half the day, it's OK that I don't always take the kids out and that we wear our pj's all day. It's OK that I get sick of the city. It's OK that I take days for myself. Living in NYC has given me the opportunities to see... I mean REALLY see... my blessings. All the tender mercies are so obvious now. I see the Lord's hand in everything. I can't explain or reiterate enough how much living here has changed me for the better. I feel like I have grown in every aspect of my life. I truly have been able to grow into myself and to be totally comfortable with who I am. I love my life! It's crazy hard, super busy, really boring, extremely exciting, and completely PERFECT. I have fallen more in love with my husband. I adore my children and their HUGE personalities more with each passing day. I love every imperfect thing about myself (that last line is mostly true). I'm almost 27 years old and I feel like I have the life I dreamed of as a little girl. It's not exactly how I planned it but I must say I'm glad the Lord had better things in store!

keep it simple...

Ok... here are some of my simple recipes. We love them but having not had bread or tortillas with oil or sugar our taste buds may be a little different. Hope you enjoy and I would love any feedback you might have.


Bread

2 cups warm water
1 teaspoon of yeast
2 cups flour (if you use wheat it most likely will take less. Start out with 1 1/2 cups)
2 cups oats
1 teaspoon of salt

In a bowl add water and yeast. Let sit for 10 minutes. Added remaining ingredients. Mix well then place in a clean bowl and put it in a warm spot of your kitchen. I warm my oven just a little and let it rise in there until its doubled in size. Then back at 375 for 30 min. I bake mine in a glass Pyrex bowl.


Tortillas

2 cups flour
1 teaspoon salt
1/4 cup applesauce
3/4 cup water

put all ingredients in mixer and blend with a flat hook for a few seconds to mix everything. Then use a dough hook to knead dough for 2min.  Divide into balls (8-12 depending on the size of tortilla you want). Roll each ball out then cook in a hot pan. I use a pancake griddle. I also use a tortilla press to flatten the dough.

Vegan shopping ...

After my post on facebook and instagram (my fridge after shopping) I've had some people asking for my shopping list and meal plan. So I decided I'd just blog about it. Now before you get your hopes up I just have to tell ya... Its not too exciting. As of late  my list has dropped most processed food and I have to saw it feels pretty empowering. I love to walk past the "junk" and straight to the fresh fruit and veggies! I love the way I feel feeding my family with what I feel are the best options. And it just makes me happy.

Here is my basic list. It changes depending on the season and my mood at the store.

strawberries
blueberries
bananas (lots and lots)
apples
grapes (lots)
pineapple
lettuce
broccoli
carrots
spinach
raw oatmeal
cereal (healthy)
raisins
frozen berries
frozen mixed veggies
frozen broccoli
edamame
honey/agave nectar
wheat flour
raw almonds
tofu
salsa
red pasta sauce
soy milk
dry beans
whole wheat pasta
rice/quinoa
hummus
black bean pasta
unsweetened applesauce

I shop at Costco so I buy all of this in bulk.

Here are my "add on's"

watermelon
cantaloupe
cauliflower
asparagus
pears
peaches
plums
almond milk

As far as a meal plan goes... I don't have one. My main "plan" is to get as many fruits and veggies in ALL of our meals as I can. When I cook rice or quinoa I add frozen mixed veggies (green beans, peas, corn, and carrots). When I make pasta I add veggies to the sauce (broccoli, cauliflower, carrots). I don't think you can add to many vegetables. When we first went vegan this concept didn't seem to make sense to me. I was so used to having a meat, starch, and veggies on the side. With being vegan the veggies are the star. The meal is basically vegetables. Now that we eat vegan I don't think I could go back to eating the "other" way. I love the way I feel! Anytime we have a "cheat treat" (doughnuts, cookies, ice cream...). We will have one maybe once a week. I start to feel guilty. Like I'm cheating on my vegan ways.

I also bake our bread. I make our tortillas. We don't use oil. We use applesauce. I just swap it for the oil. I'm all about making things easy! My bread recipe is simple. Tortillas recipe simple. I love to cook but with how crazy our house can get I cant spend a lot of time thinking about/cooking meals. We have fruit in our green smoothies and for snacks. For "treats" I make banana ice cream. I know that we are leaning to the extreme side of things and that this isn't for everyone but it works for us.

We've had times since becoming vegan that we would "cheat" more than we should and we pay for it. We have stomach aches and heads that hurt. I become bloated, my weight goes up, and I feel so lazy! I really can't believe how lazy I feel... I just want to nap and lay around and I'm not as happy.

I'll have to post some recipes to give you more ideas of how we eat.

NYC

I'm always singing that line (in my head) from Annie since we moved here. You know the one... "N.Y.C.... Just got here this morning! 3 bucks, 2 bags, one me!" Although the amount of people that came with us is significantly more and we have well over two bags... it still just seems so fitting. I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that we live here! In the middle of it all no less. Living in the big apple was always a dream of mine... I think it is for a lot of people. But once we started having kids I NEVER thought it would be a possibility. Four kids in a big city was never my idea of a good time. I do have to say my children having be doing exceptionally well with the move and all that has come with it. For instance... The large closet we call home.

When we first walked in I wanted to cry! We have a 30ft hallway that you have to walk down... It's about 2ft wide. That was the first indication that we were in trouble! I looked in the boys room and it is literally a walk in closet (hence my post on FB about bunk beds). The girls room is actually a good size and so is ours but the bathroom... Oh my... The bathroom! It's long and narrow and you have to back in because you can't turn around once your in! The only way two people can be in at one time is for one to be in the shower. It's way different than what we have been used to. We are making it our own and finding ways to make everything fit. I can't tell you how glad I am that we sold so much!! There is NO way we could have fit our furniture in. Everything is so small and narrow seeing as how our building was built 100 years ago... Pictures will be posted once we finish buying the few things we still have left to get.

Now having a car here... More specifically a van is not the best of ideas. It takes about a year to find parking but you have to make sure once you've found a spot that it's good for that day because some sides of the street are only good certain days but if it's during the school year that is void... It's a complicated thing... Parking. Oh and there are usually about 3 spots we have to pass because we won't fit in them. Then there is shopping. You pay to shop. You have to pay to park and you have to pay AT LEAST $6 but that just gives you two hours. Let me tell you shopping that the kids and need to find multiply things in multiply stores two hours is more like five minutes. And coming home from shopping is the only time I'm glad we have a van until we have to unload it... That's another story all in itself. So we are learning all about parking and how it's just better to walk and in the almost 3 weeks we've lived here we've only have two parking tickets. Haha...

New York is amazing! I love that we live a block away from Central Park and that we live in a decent area. Our ward (church) is awesome and filled with talented people! (Models, famous artists, insanely talented singers). Sunday we had a quartet sing patriotic songs and it was the best I've ever heard! Not just in church but like ever! Life is so amazing!! Yes the kids and I don't get out near as much as we did in Utah and it's an adjustment but I wouldn't change it for anything.  This is an exciting time in our life and I'm excited to share it with y'all!

Enchiladas...

This is the recipe from dinner last night. It turned out GREAT. Our family ate the whole thing! We also had a smoothie. (We have a smoothie every breakfast and almost every dinner. Its a way for me to get veggies into the kids without them knowing). It was also really good. I'll add that recipe as well. Happy cooking!

Vegan Enchiladas:

1 can of organic black beans
1 cup frozen corn
1 large tomato (chopped)
1/2 yellow onion (chopped)
1 cup baby spinach
2 garlic cloves (minced)
1/2 cup salsa 
1 tbsp. dried cilantro
1 tsp. chili powder
1 tsp. cumin powder
1 cup cooked brown rice
1 can (Walmart brand) medium enchilada sauce (I like this brand because its not full of  a ton of junk. If I don't recognize the ingredients, I'm not feeding it to my family).
1 packet whole wheat tortillas 

In a frying pan put just enough water to cover the bottom of the pan. (I never stir fry with oil, water works just fine and its makes the meal healthier). Add onions and garlic, cook until soft. Then add corn, beans, tomatoes and spinach. Cook until spinach is soft and corn is no longer frozen. Stir in cooked rice. Add remaining ingredients. Place rice and bean mixture into the tortillas. Roll and place them in a 9x13 glass pan. Fill pan. Then add the enchilada sauce on top. Cook at 350 for 30-45 minutes. Top with Chunky Guacamole once its removed from the oven


Chunky Guacamole:

 2 avocados chopped
1/2  tomato chopped
1/4 small onion
2 garlic cloves
1/2 juice of lime
1 tsp. chili powder
salt and pepper to taste

Mix together and enjoy!


Berry Peachy Smoothie:

2 cups light vanilla soy milk
1 cup frozen berry mix
1 cup frozen peaches
1 handful baby spinach
2 tsp. vanilla

Blend together and enjoy. *Side note... If I feel like the smoothies are just to thick then I add some water and blend the mixture again.

Eat to Live meal plan...

I've talked about the book "Eat to Live" by Dr. Joel Fuhrman before and that book is a big reason why we decided to go vegan. It just makes sense to eat this way after you've read the book! Well this is the "life plan" that we eat by. We try to keep a printed off sheet out in the kitchen where we can see it. That helps me to remember what I should and shouldn't eat and how much to eat throughout the day. If you are really thinking of going vegan, trying to lose weight, or wanting to be healthier I would recommend this book! It is pro vegan but it also tells you how to add back animal products after you've lost the weight you wanted. The "Eat to Live" book is on amazon for $4.97. So it's cheap and a good read!



"Eat to Live" Life Plan

UNLIMITED (all you can eat but must at least meet goal daily)

• all raw vegetables (goal: 1 lb. per day)

• cooked green and non-green nutrient-rich vegetables (goal: 1 lb. per day; non-green

nutrient-rich vegetables include eggplant, mushrooms, peppers, onions, tomatoes,

carrots, and cauliflower)

• beans, legumes, bean sprouts, and tofu (goal: 1 cup per day)

• fresh fruits (goal: 4 per day)

 

LIMITED (must meet goal daily but do not exceed it)

• cooked starchy vegetables and whole grains (goal: 2 cups per day; starchy vegetables

include butternut and acorn squash, corn, and potatoes; whole grains include oatmeal,

bread, rice, pasta, and cereal)

• avocado, nuts, and seeds (goal: 1 oz. per day)

• ground flaxseeds (goal: 1 tablespoon per day)

 

OFF-LIMITS

• dairy products

• animal products

• oils

 

SUPPLEMENTS

• DHA (vegetable-derived, from micro-algae)

• Vitamin B12 (2500 mcg. once per week)

• Vitamin D (2000 I.U. per day)
 

90 PERCENT RULE

• aim to eat at least 90 percent unrefined plant foods, with processed foods constituting

no more than 10 percent of total caloric intake (<200 calories per day or 1,400 calories

per week)

Fuhrman, Joel. “Eat to Live.” Little, Brown and Company, 2011-01-05. iBooks

PG-13 post

* If you are offended by talking about yours or anyone else's downstairs area don't read this.

Ok... our big kids are getting to the curious stage, Harrison especially. They want to know what everything is. Harrison's favorite thing to say is, "Mommy, that? What that?" Well... lately the big question has been... what's downstairs... if you know what I mean. Awhile ago I read an article that said you should tell your children the correct names for their... you know what. The purpose being if someone (heaven forbid) was doing something inappropriate with your child you would know. The author's theory being the inappropriate person would call the kids parts something other than the real names. It made sense to me and so when our kids have asked... I've told them the correct names. The problem now is our kids are obsessed with telling everyone what parts they have. Right now everyone has a penis, girls, boys, it doesn't matter. To the McArthur kids you have a penis. We're really trying to work with them... girls have a vagina and boys have a penis. Sometimes it sticks for a small period of time, but I think they just like saying penis. It is so funny to listen to them say the words (I'm a bad mom, I know). My sister thinks it's weird, and I guess to hear a two year old say penis and vagina is a little different but I'm glad they know the real names. Having someone hurt my children is a big fear of mine. People are so crazy! I've heard so many stories, and the news is just packed full of them! I hate to say it but I don't trust many people with my kids. My fear of this and how crazy the world is, is one of the reasons our kids have just now started going to church nursery without me or Troy (they kicked me out last Sunday). So yes... I'm one of those crazy moms but I'd rather be a little crazy and my kids be okay. I'm horrified at some of the things I see moms do (not that I'm judging or anything), I mean when you're at the park at LEAST pretend you're watching your children! Ahhh! Those poor kids! Anyway back to the point of this post, my kids say penis and vagina because I want them to be safe... and it's kind of funny but mostly for safety. Am I weird or wrong to do so? What do you have your kids call the downstairs?

Get your healthy on...

Here it is... the "recipe" post. I was trying to hurry and make up all of the recipes so that I could have a pic with each one, but it was just taking too long. Rest assured, all of these have been tested and approved by me and my family. These are all simple for the most part and tasty. What I love most about these recipes is that they are fast and easy! I'm not one to plan dinner out days or even hours in advance... so anything that is fast is my favorite!

Chickpea salad:
1 can organic chickpeas
1 tbsp. vegenaise
1 tsp. dried dill
1 tsp. garlic powder
1 tbsp. minced onions
salt and pepper to taste

Place peas in blender and blend until slightly chunky. Stir in remaining ingredients. This salad is great on a lettuce salad or in a wrap!

Refried Beans:
1 can organic pinto beans
1 tbsp. vegenaise
1 tbsp. minced onion
1 tsp. garlic powder
salt and pepper to taste

Place beans in blender and blend until smooth. Stir in remaining ingredients. We love to put this in a tortilla with steamed veggies and salsa.

Vegan Alfredo Sauce:
1/3 cup raw (unsalted) cashews
1 garlic clove
3 tbsp. nutritional yeast
1 cup almond or soy milk
2 tsp. liquid aminos
2 tsp. organic Dijon mustard
1/2 tsp. paprika

Place all ingredients in blender and blend until smooth. We put this over pasta mixed with steamed veggies. I know this says "alfredo sauce" but it tastes more like a Chinese dish. It still is really good!

Breakfast Smoothie:
2 cups vanilla soy milk
1 cup organic frozen blueberries
1/2 cup organic frozen peaches
Handful of baby spinach
1 tbsp. ground flax seed

Lunch/Snack Smoothie:
2 cups water
2 tbsp. orange juice concentrate
1 cup mixed frozen fruit
Handful of kale

Pizza:
1 Whole wheat pizza crust (or make your favorite one)
3 tbsp. tomato paste
1 tsp. garlic powder
1 tsp. dried basil
1 tsp. dried oregano
1 tsp. dried parsley
1 tbsp. minced onion
Add tomatoes, steamed broccoli, mushrooms, and cauliflower.

Mix paste and dry ingredients then spread on pizza crust. Add veggies. I bake it at 450 for 10min.

Mexican Pizza:
1 Whole wheat pizza crust
5 tbsp. refried beans
1/4 tsp. cumin
1/4 tsp. chili powder
3 tbsp. salsa
1/2 chopped tomato
1/4 cup corn
1/2 avocado chopped

Spread refried beans on crust. Sprinkle cumin, chili powder, and salsa over beans. Add remaining ingredients. Bake at 450 for 10min.

Sunday Bread:
2 cups lukewarm water
2 tsp. quick rise yeast
1 tbsp. erythritol or sugar
3 cups whole wheat flour
1 cup all-purpose flour

Mix water, yeast, and erythritol. let set for 10min. Mix with flour. The dough will be sticky. Put dough in a large glass bowl, I use a big round Pyrex or a 9x9 Pyrex. Let rise in a warm oven ( I start to let the oven preheat to 350 for a 1min and then turn it off) until doubled (about an hour). Bake at 425 for 10min. reduce heat to 375 and bake for 20min longer.
*make sure to spray pyrex before adding the dough to it. Also cover with tea towel.
*I will sometimes just make it before church and let it rise while we're gone (3 hours) then bake it as soon as we get home.

ATC Sandwich:
Sliced Sunday bread
1 sliced tomato
1 sliced cucumber
1 smashed avocado
1 minced garlic clove
1 tbsp. minced dried onion
salt and pepper to taste

Mix avocado, garlic, and dried onions together. Spread on Sunday bread. Add tomato and cucumber.

Chunky Guacamole:
2 avocados chopped
1/2  tomato chopped
1/4 small onion
2 garlic cloves
1/2 juice of lime
1 tsp. chili powder
salt and pepper to taste

Mix together and enjoy!

Muffin Base:
2 cups whole wheat flour
1/3 erythritol or sugar
3 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. salt
1 flaxseed egg ( mix 1 tbsp. ground flaxseed and 3 tbsp. water)
3/4 cup soy milk
1/2 cup applesauce
2 tsp. vanilla

Heat oven to 400. Mix flour. erythritol, baking powder, and salt. Then add flaxseed egg, soy milk, applesauce, and vanilla. After mixed well add whatever fruit you want (blueberries and strawberries are our favorite). You could add dark chocolate chips for a treat.

*Side note ... I steam a ton of veggies (enough to fit in a 9x13 Pyrex) every few days so I always have them on hand to eat or cook with. I do broccoli, mushrooms, cauliflower, carrots, asparagus, and snow pea pods. The more healthy food you have on hand and ready to eat the easier it is to do so! We also snack on air popped popcorn, nuts (not too many though... they are high in fat) and edamame. I'm not a big fan of fruit so the smoothies help me with the fruit intake.

It was so hard at first to eat this way. I was so used to having meat and cheese and all other animal products, but after the first thirty days it became much easier and I feel amazing! I know this isn't for everyone but this works for us! I'll post more as I think of them, but these are our favorites right now. Let me know how they turn out for you! 

Shhh... it's a secret

In the past almost 3 years I've been on a bit of a roller coaster ride when it comes to my weight... when we got married I weighed 155 lbs., that was pretty small for me. When we got pregnant I lost weight (135), then gained (211), then lost most of my baby weight (156). Next, we got pregnant again (235), then lost my baby weight... and then some (134)! Here is how I lost the baby weight this go round...

So I've lost 96 lbs. in 8 months! I'm really proud of myself, and I always have people asking me, "How did you do it?" and "What's your secret?" Well let me tell you... there is no secret or magic pill. I eat healthy and I workout. That's it. Sorry to disappoint you. I used to think there was some magic thing that made other people thin, but I now have learned over the years that there really isn't. Just good old fashioned diet and exercise.

My advice for losing weight... (I understand if you don't agree with some of the advice, the second being the main one, that's fine. This is what works for me and my family and we love it. If you have another way that works, more power to ya!)

First... have twins. That will knock out about thirty lbs. right there. When I went to deliver our second set of twins I weighed 235... that's right 235! I am 5'7" and I weighed 235! It might have been because I ate chick fil-a every other day... and the PF Chang freezer food every night. So I weighed a lot the day I had the little babies, and 5 days later I weighed 200. Now I've never been really thin but that is the most I have ever weighed, excluding pregnancy. I freaked out. I started cutting my food intake in half, then more and more. I was starving! I was losing weight... but slowly. It just felt like it was taking FOREVER! And I missed eating! I love to eat! Thank goodness Troy started reading a booked called "Eat to Live." Now, this book is pro vegan and we'd been toying with the idea so when we read this book it helped us decide... plus you can eat as much of the "good food" as you want. I was sold!

Second... become vegan. I know what you're thinking... tree hugging, bark eating, peace sign holding, hippie. Well I'm not, we're not. We love being vegan though! I'm not going to lie, it was so hard the first month! I just wanted chicken so bad, oh and cheese! But I made it through and something wonderful happened... I stopped craving all the crap. I didn't want fried chicken, or French fries, or cheese, or burgers. I felt awesome! After I got over the hardest part (cravings), I hit another wall... what in the world should/can I cook?! If you look at recipes for vegan meals they have 1,000 ingredients and a ton of stuff that I have no idea what it is. So after searching for good things to fix that the kids and Troy would like I decided to just start making what we would normally eat, just take out the meat and add more veggies. Like spaghetti... no meat, add broccoli, onion, garlic, mushrooms, cauliflower, carrots, black beans, and sometimes green beans. It may sound a little weird but it is so good! Or chicken salad (I loved chicken salad)... no meat, add chickpeas, dill, onions, garlic, vegan mayo, then blend. It's so good! Basically, we eat TONS of fruit and vegetables, beans, nuts, and seeds.

Third... "I work out." I mix it up... I do spin, yoga, weights, running, and Pinterest workouts. I have to or I get bored. When the kids are playing I do push ups. When I watch TV I do weights and spin. When I brush my teeth I do squats. I have to make time for working out and sometimes that means doing it at weird times. It's important to me so I make time for it. That is key! Things that are important to you get done. Whatever it may be. I've made tons of excuses in the past to not workout but I really wanted to get fit so I made time. Also... I do all of this at home. I don't go to the gym and I don't have a trainer. So if you can't afford a gym or don't have time to go to a gym... you can do it all in your living room!

So there it is! The magic secret... have babies, eat healthy, workout! :)

I'm for real this time...

I always tell myself, "This week I'm going to write at least ONE post" and it never happens! I get some free time and the last thing I want to do is sit in front of the computer for 30 plus minutes, but I know I should. I just love being able to vent and get my thoughts out there. So, "I'm for real this time" on to the post...

 

The big kids are now 2! I can't believe it! It's so cliché, but the time really has flown by. My sweet little babies aren't babies anymore. They are fun, crazy, wild, little kids. They talk up a storm and know what they want, fight, play really well together, fight, sing, dance, and fight... and are trying to be so independent (which is so cute and so frustrating all at the same time). With that new found independence comes some head butting, (with each other and me). I try my best to keep my temper under control. But I have those days, moments, minutes that I lose it and... I hate to say it... yell. With that yelling comes the guilt... the guilt of being a "bad mom"... the guilt of making my kids sad (poor Lotte can't take being reprimanded). I can't stand the guilt! So I started thinking... maybe yelling isn't the answer. Around the same time I really started trying to stop raising my voice I noticed a lot of moms on my facebook did the "no yelling" challenge. I think it was not yelling for 90 days or something like that. Well I've started doing it as well. And I've noticed something... my kids do what I say. Sure, sometimes I have to say it twice but it has been working like a charm!

Now when I say "charm" I mean that 90% of the time my kids are doing what I ask... with a smile. We still have our moments. Like... this morning at breakfast the big kids started throwing their fruit. After multiple "calm" tries I lost it and then... I felt bad. Real bad. But thank goodness 2 year olds are so forgiving because I started over. Everyday is trial and error, and we're getting better everyday. I don't care how long you've been a mom or how many kids you have there are days you lose it. They've pushed you and pushed you and you reached the end of your rope, but I've learned that taking a minute to compose yourself makes a world of difference!

So mommies having a hard time... just count to ten and TRY (I know it's easier said than done) to take on the kiddos with a more understanding and calmer perspective. :)

Introduction

I have four children. We have four children... In two years we had four children. Sometimes I can't wrap my head around it. How can you? Of course I always thought it would be fun to have multiples but never really saw it happening. Before my husband and I got married we talked about wanting to have kids right away but we never saw this coming! We got married September 2010, got pregnant the second after we said I do (surprise!) and had our first set of twins April 2011. (That's right, I said first...) Nine months later we got pregnant with our SECOND set of twins. Finding out we were pregnant with twins the first go round was crazy, finding out we were pregnant with twins the second time... I have no words. To tell the truth, I wasn't as surprised as I thought I should be. Maybe it's because it's all I've known... That babies come in two's, at least for us.

Since becoming a mother of 4 at 24 I've had multiple (pun intended) people ask, "How do you do it?" Well, let me give you my honest answer, it's not that hard and yet it's the hardest thing I've ever done. Taking care of the kids really isn't that bad. It's like having two kids 16 months apart instead of four. We make sure both sets do everything with their twin. So I just double everything. Sure, there are times I want to scream and sometimes do... When everyone else is, at a weak moment I find myself yelling. But the hard part isn't having a herd of kids. No, the hard part is keeping my marriage to more than just raising kids. My husband is AMAZING! He's handsome and funny and smart and helpful with the kids (by helpful I mean he does more than half the work some days). He makes my life easier. It's been hard at times because I feel like we missed out on the honeymoon stage. I was really sick the first go round so I wasn't a happy, glowing pregnant women. I was a nightmare. An emotional mess, sick as can be, and demanding. What a dream come true for a newlywed couple, right? But he was so sweet and took such good care of me... He still does.

 

But because we didn't get a long time to ourselves I sometimes  just want him all to myself. To be able to spend time with him without someone wanting something or yelling at us. I of course wouldn't change a thing! I love our beautiful children. They bring so much life and color to our little world! But making time, I mean real time (not ten minutes here and there) for just the two of us is the hardest part. It's hard emotionally. Physically the kids take first place but emotionally it's time with the hubby. So here is us in a nutshell. Believe it or not there is more...